Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas everyone! I hope you are all having a great time over the festive period. 

I have to admit I have not been too good this last few days (damn that christmas cake). I'm going to get straight back on it tomorrow and hopefully can cushion some of the damage.

Well, not only has it been Christmas but I've also been feeling kinda down the last few days, especially today...

Maybe its just me but I feel like everyones worst enemy at the moment. I just want to spend some time with a certain someone but we've both had family things to do the past few days so now I'm missing him a little (might elaborate more on that one day). So that doesnt make me feel too good.

If anyone is selling hugs at the moment, I'll buy a few.

Yeah.. not feeling sorry for myself at all am I?

Anyway, glad today is over, roll on tomorrow.

Nearly half way.

Well, this week... the week leading up to christmas, I lost a whole 2lbs. Which puts me 2.5lbs off 5 stone. Which means, if I get 2.5lbs next week thats 5 stone I've lost in 6 months. Which also means that I only have 5 stone to lose.

Everyone has been so supportive and it means so much to me. I never thought I'd stick to it, but I have and now its showing. Next week I will do a complete sum up of the last 6 months and work out the totals and such.

Fingers crossed for next week.

If I dont blog before, I wish you all a Merry Christmas.

Excited!

Hi all, hope you are all doing well. I know I haven't updated for ages but I'll fill you in on whats been going on.

Last week was the anniversary of my Nan's death and those that know me, will know it hits me hard. So near christmas aswell.

I would like to start by saying that I lost 2lbs last week so didnt reach my 4st 7lbs loss target then. BUT this week I have lost 3 and 1/2lbs so am still on target to lose 5stone by the end of December.

Well christmas is only 10 days away (scary!) and I hope you have all done your Christmas shopping (leave me a message and I'll let you know what I want ;p ). I have 'sort of' finished mine but still have a few more things to get.

You'll all be pleased to know that I'm getting more confident in going out on my own (well, done it once so far - and it was only to get a little thing from Asda) and I dont feel as panicy now.

Christmas, for a lot of people, is a really hard time to stick to the plan and lose weight, but if you are focused enough, you can do it. So many temptations about, its understandable but dont let Christmas spoil what you have already worked hard to achieve.

I have a bet on with someone that if I put on weight at Christmas that I'm not allowed to visit him in Madrid next year... pfft.. I'll take that bet Fede and I'll show you!!!

Last weigh in next week until after Christmas so I'll keep you all informed.

Love you all!

Bad week

Well this week is not a good week at all, not foodwise but emotionally wise. Tomorrow is the anniversary of my Nanas death, it still feeling like yesterday.

Anyway, I didnt think I'd do well at all this week due to being away for 3 days. But I surpassed myself and lost a further 2lbs. 1lb to go for 4 and a half stones. easy peasy!.

I wish to send my thanks to everyone who has and still is being supportive of me, I know I dont say it but it means a hell of a lot.

Hugs

Body Magic

Before I begin: Got my 4 stone mini-target this week! Going to work really hard to try and achieve 4.5 stone or even 5 stone by Christmas.

Today has started off really well, really early but really well. I recieved a text last night off Laurelle asking if I wanted to go for an early swim, I agreed but little did I know that an early swim was 6:30am. But I feel much better for it, 16 lengths of the pool and a sauna later, I'm feeling slighty tired but happy that I actually got up and did it. Hopefully we'll go a few times a week as now I feel like I have the whole day a head of me instead of waking up at lunchtime and doing nothing for the rest of the day. as for the rest of the day, I might go to the shops later or just relax a little but at least I feel like I've achieved something today.

Feeling positive today!

Skyrim

Skyrim is totally awesome, though I am slightly sad because my friend has 2 level 25+ and my first char is only 21 :( Ahh well, still slightly addicted.

So, this weeks weigh-in was a tad disappointing, I thought I'd done really well but it seems I've put on half a pound (not really much I know but I wanted to get that 4st). Not sure how it happened really. I dont think this week will be great either, I had a really bad day friday and its no excuse but I was out with my Dad all day. So it was a case of: get what you can. My dad isn't very helpful keeping me on my diet (not that I should need him I know). Yesterday I had: Fish and Chips, a scone and a chocolate bar. But that was it, nothing else so hope I havent completely busted myself this week. Time will tell on Wednesday.

So apart from that there isnt much to tell at the moment, well except: I've been really good today!

Weigh Day

Woooo 6lbs off this week, thats 1lb more until I hit the 4 stone mark!!!

So happy with this weeks weight loss especially since I've been feeling glum, so its really perked me up. At this rate it could be 5 stone by Christmas (here's hoping) and thats only 5 stone away from my rough target.

The doctor was happy with the result also, when he first weighed me I had to get weighed on 2 scales, now I can use 1, thats an achievement anyway.

I managed to get through bonfire night without treacle toffee, or toffee apples also. My neighbour has Ben and Jerry's Icecream in her fridge and has asked me to go over for our 'treat', but you will be pleased to hear I am resisting the icecream temptation as I am determinded to get my 4 stone come wednesday.

My current weight: 22 stone 7.5lbs

I would just like to say that even if anyone feels like they are having a bad time regarding their weight loss, ANYTHING is better than nothing and even maintaining that week is better than putting on any weight.

I forgot to document this story last week but I will tell you all now:

A girl had joined our slimming club 2 weeks ago, so last week was her first proper weigh in on the diet. I remember looking at her and thinking how I would like to get down to her size, not to skinny but nice a curvy. Our instructor was giving the talk and telling everyone how each person had got on that week she got to this girl and had said that she had lost 3lbs. Everyone clapped and congratulated her as 3lb is a good weight loss. This girl then said that she was not happy with it, she had stuck to the diet and wanted more than 3lbs. This left everyone shocked. Most people in that class would be over the moon for a 3lb weight loss.

I know myself, I was a bit annoyed as she was saying she wanted to lose more. But what she didnt get the hang of was that - yes she needed to lose a bit of weight but not being too far off her target anyway (maybe a couple of stone) her weight loss wouldn't be big numbers. The older you are and the less weight you have to lose means that your weightloss will be slower over all, which, tbh, is the way to do it. The bigger you are the faster it will come off at first.

To me, this girl wanted a quick fix and this is not what the club is all about. 

1-2lb per week is a good, average, weighloss and anymore than 2lb is water not fat.

So guys, keep that in mind when you are having a bad week, 1lb is better than nothing at all and 3lb is amazing.

Wednesday Weigh in

Well today's weight loss was disappointing even though it was still a weight loss. I know why my weight loss has slowed down now though. It all hangs on my wednesday treat days. I had been told that I was able to save up my syns (like points you can use per day to spend on what you like so you can 'cheat' if you need too) and use them on one day... WRONG! and to be honest the reason makes sense:

If you use all your syns for the whole week (around 105+) on one day that means you could put on 2-3lb on that day, which means no matter how good you are for the rest of the week, you are having to take off what you put on on that 'cheat' day (if thats confused anyone let me know).

So I am not going to have a cheat day anymore and just spend my syns daily. So if I fancy a bag of crisps I use my syns to do it. 

Hopefully I'll see a bigger weight loss from now on. Here is hoping!

Happy Halloween

Happy Halloween everyone!

Unless you are like me and don't like it. I hate it, only because of the masks to be truthfully and the face that I now can't have toffee apples and things (I know thats bonfire night also - incoming crying blog on that day.).

I have no idea what's wrong with me lately, I'm just so tired all the time again and cant be bothered to do anything. My eating is still on the slippery slop to hell, its not that I'm over eating or eating naughty things, its just that I'm again, not eating breakfast. Though I think I've been through more fruit than the supermarkets can carry.

My swimming didnt go as planned. Mainly because I didnt get up to go. Its horrible feeling like this, people think you're lazy and to be honest, I think that too. But you just dont have the energy or will to get up and do something.

I think I need to force myself out of this again, I don't want to be slipping back to where I was.

Anyway no more moaning for a while. I bet its really depressing.

11th November - my new game arrives (yay!). So I get to waste my time on that for a while. Also booked for the Christmas Markets this year so roll on December!.

Getting excited about my Madrid visit next year. I hope I'll have lost a lot of weight by then. At the moment I just feel I'm not losing it. 

Weigh in Wednesday, more from me then.

Oops

Ok so I didnt forget to keep this updated but somehow I did.

Weigh in yesterday, after my awesome weekend... only 1lb put on. Not as bad as I was dreading.

I've decided to start swimming again from monday. Why monday? Because the kids are still off school and it gets really really crowded in there.

Weekend was awesome, learnt a lot about a lot of things and saw some fantastic places. I have pics so I might add a few of those when I get around to it.

My exercising has gone downhill recently, cant work out if its due to the weather or just me slipping back into lazy mode. Also been playing a lot more computer games lately and there is a new game coming out that I'll be playing.

Also trying to read a bit more since the weather is meh (yes I said meh).

So monday on the way home we stopped off in one of my favourite places in North Wales (cant spell it bit it begins with Bets...) as we were walking about a teenager decided to look at me and say 'OMG' well... Oh my God, not omg... so that kind of put me in a downer... I know I know, it shouldn't I dont know what he was thinking but it did. I get annoyed with myself for it, but seriously - if it was aimed at me... why? I don't understand the small mindedness of people. No ones perfect and I guarentee that all these people who point and stare and laugh at people like me also have something wrong with them, its just we are too polite to say it.

Ok thats all my excitement of the last few days. Ciao.

Urgh!

Bad bad day diet wise. I think all weekend will be like this unless I find fruit to eat :( I guess I will have to see what tomorrow brings.
We are in the hotel watching Merlin, haven't seen it before, its pretty good. Hotel is nice and room is nice and I have made friends with a dog...
New start tomorrow hope its a better day for me.

Ciao for now!

Weekend Away

So I'm just packing my stuff ready to go and it seems half my new clothes have vanished! Seriously... how can you lose stuff thats just been in the washing machine?

I'm looking forward to the drive tomorrow though, it'll be nice to get away for a few days, looking at awesome stuff. Though still, at the back of my mind is the worry about all how people will react to me, I know I shouldn't care but I do.

Also, its going to be so hard sticking to my diet, but I'm mentally preparing for wednesday already so if I put on, so be it. Hopefully I wont, I'm going to try and stick to it the best I can.

I'm still feeling down, a bit un-energised, but I'm looking forward to the drive tomorrow.

Early night for me tonight me thinks.

Ciao!

The day before weigh in.

Arghh, really hate the day before weigh day. Mainly for two reasons:

1. What if (even though I've been good and feel like I've lost weight) I've put weight on.

2. Walking in to a room with a lot of people in and standing on the scales (what if I break the scales!?!).

I know these are two stupid reasons but I guess everyone has the same panic before weigh day. I do know one thing though, I'm happy weigh in is in the morning, I dont think I'd like going in the evening and spending all day waiting.

So today I had my last session with my therapist, which also means my last session with my social health worker. Am I happy about it? Not really, because I don't feel ready at the moment to finish working with them but unfortunately you only get a handful of sessions. Gutted!

Good news is that I've been referred to AnxietyUK which follows on from what I was previously working on, again, you only get 6 months working with them... lets hope its enough.

My therapist seems happy with the improvements I am making and honestly, so am I. Its still a struggle sometimes though. I'll get there in the end.

Something totally unrelated: My back hurts :(, I hurt it yesterday just by getting off the couch and I'm in agony. Hopefully the weightloss will reduce the amount of times my back pulls, since I think this is partly the reason for it.

Roll on tomorrow!

Thoughts on a saturday afternoon

I know a lot of people think that every overweight person is overweight because they eat to much. Like those programmes you see on tv where a 50stone woman eats like 2 loaves of bread for breakfast then an hour later eats 10 chocolate bars as a snack. We really aren't all like that. Some people have real medical problems or a slow metabolism. Admittedly there are people that eat so much it makes you feel sick when you hear about it. But I'm not one of those people and as far as I know I don't have a medical problem. I'm just overweight.

My biggest problem is not eating breakfast and not eating enough as strange as it sounds. I do have days where I want to binge on junk but I'm happy to say those days are gone, mostly now I binge on fruit!.

I think one of the main problems with people losing weight is their mindset - if your mind isn't in it there is just no point in trying, especially if you know you'll just give up. I'm not saying 'don't try', I mean everything is worth trying but if you know going to slimming clubs and the gym is just a passing phase, don't bother, save your money and wait until you are in the frame of mind to do it.

Personally speaking, I am in the mindset now where I want to do it, for me, no one else. I'm tired of walking into shops and picking out the biggest sizes, not being able to choose the clothes I actually like and settling for ones with sparkly bits on (what is it with bigger size clothes shops and sparkly clothing...seriously?). I'm tired of walking down the street and feeling that everyone is staring at me, thinking I must be one of those people who eat two loaves of bread for breakfast and eat chocolate until it comes out of my ears. I'm tired of feeling unhealthy and tired all the time and of also being shut in because I'm too scared to go out.

The amount of weight I've lost so far is great, a lot of people tell me so, and I know its true. But those strangers on the street still laugh and stare, sometimes I just feel like throwing my slimming book at them and screaming LOOK WHAT I'VE DONE!. People tell you that you shouldn't care what anyone else thinks, says or does. But sometimes its hard to turn a blind eye. I'm hoping one day I can say 'Hey look at me, I was that 26stone girl you used to laugh at... look at me now'

And for those who worry about joining slimming clubs, do it, I got the confidence to finally walk in there (thanks to Linda) and I've never looked back, there are some amazing people and the support you get is fantastic. But you need to stick at it, go every week and stay for the meetings - you learn so much and no matter how much weight you lost/gained that week, the support is still there. 

Every wednesday I feel like I'm walking into a group of friends. And the day you walk into a clothes shop and realise you don't need the biggest size, is the best feeling in the world.

Try it.
www.slimmingworld.com

The Long Road

So, I've been persuaded into blogging my weightloss adventure as a hope to be an inspiration for other people who were/are like me out there. So you'll either love it or hate it but give thanks to Laurelle!

I'll start at the beginning:

I suffer with depression and I'm overweight. My depression isn't directly because of my weight but it is a huge factor in it. So, getting sick of feeling like I'm stared at when I go out of the house, I took to not going out of the house. For two (maybe more) years I hardly left the house at all.

I had a great job, great car, great future, but I gave into my depression and lost all of my confidence.

One morning, I woke up and decided I had to take my life back...

I went to the doctor who helped me find people to help me. Currently I am working with a therapist, with a health visitor and with dietians to lose weight and gain back the confidence I lost.

18 weeks ago I joined a slimming club:

Start weight: 26st 6.5lbs (or approx 168 kilos)

18 weeks later:

Current weight: 23st 0.5lbs (or approx 146 kilos)

Current weightloss to date: 3st 6lbs (or approx 22 kilos)

Am I an inspiration? I don't know - I still have a long way to go but I'll blog it every step of the way.