Self-destruct

The past week has not been a good week, I feel quite emotionally drained so I've reverted back to comfort eating and eating things I shouldn't.
You know, you wake up feeling positive about everything then it takes one little thing to bring you down. I started the year with good intentions and I'm still positive about them I just need to give my arse a really good kick. Well, I'll let Andrea do that on wednesday I think.

I'm finding it hard to deal with the 'look' of my body at the moment and I find it hard to imagine me being slim, I think because I personally cannot SEE the changes it disheartens a little. I think once I push this last few pounds I will find it easier again, it just seems like a wall is there and I have to break it down.

Anyway on a brighter note: ITS SNOWING!!!

I have been outside and I have thrown a snowball at Matthew and I did moan when he threw one at me but hey, that's what we girls do ;)


Anyway off I go to start the idea for my story (which I might mention more about eventually).
Byeee x

Maintain!

Right so I maintained this week and I know exactly why and its my own fault. This week I'm going for 5.5lbs so I can finally get my 7 stone award.
The last few days have been pretty stressful. Everything is working out fine now but I have nothing I feel I need to say this week.

I'll be along throughout the next week though. I'm back on track 100%!!!

New Year, New Start, Up to date blog!

My apologies yet again for being sucky at keeping this blog up to date. I promise that from now on it will be (yes I know you've heard it before). the reason I have started this up again is to get myself back on track as I have been slipping in recent months. I found the blog an excellent way of making sure I was 100% on target. 
So here we go:


I hope people who find weight loss hard will find a little inspiration in this blog and the people who are lucky enough to be slim find the compassion to support people who need help in this fight.

OK so now for a quick overview of my current stats:

Height: 6ftish
Weight: 19stone 12lbs
Target Weight: 12 stone 6lbs

Dress Size
Tops: 16-18
Bottoms: 22

*Note - seeing these as they are gives me a sense of hope, my previous stats were:

Weight: 26stone 6.5lbs

Dress Size
Tops: 26-28
Bottoms 28-30*


Right, now I will try and update you all on the goings on in the last few months.

1. Got a boyfriend - Yes me, the fat one has a boyfriend! Woohoo! Little did we know this was going to happen. Previously I had decided to stay clear of all that but hes a great support to me and keeps me off the naughty things (chocolate, sweets etc). Plus I was feeling a little better about myself and he just made my confidence rise. So yay!

2. De-friended some old 'friends' - When you are losing weight or trying to get over your addiction you need friends who will help and stand by you not hurt you and make you feel emotionally weak. Deciding on doing something requires a lot of strength and as long as you have great friends and people around you nothing seems as hard.

3. Lost, gained, stayed the same - Weight-loss, urgh! Lets not blame it on Christmas and New Year, lets not blame it on anything but being overly greedy and eating to much. I'm happy to announce that I didn't gain to much but now I have to admit to a friend that he was right!!! Damn the alcohol!

4. New support network - I mean I still have my old one but now I have a new extended one. Since getting with my partner his family have become a source of strength, helping me with my weight-loss and welcoming me into their home and family. I can honestly say the latter part of 2012 was the best part of the year because of these people. I thank you from the bottom of my heart and I hope I make you all proud.

5. Slimming World - I admit I was slacking for a time but I never left and I am now back in the saddle and am happy that the group welcome me back each week. Its hard, especially now I'm going on my own but it has to be done. Thank you all for making it easier.

6. Job - Now I'm not 100% ready to go back to work but I've been applying for jobs in the hope that between now and then I will get a nice job job and can start straight away. This is a big step for me as previous the thought of work made me hide under the duvet for a week. I'm glad to announce that my social anxiety is finally coming down.

So my plans for now and the future look a little brighter. I am determined to get as close to target by Christmas 2013. That's around another 7 stone. I feel I can do it now. I'm getting help for my back pain so hopefully I will be out jogging by April.

I decided to make a list of all the things I want to achieve this year. I know all wont be possible straight away but I hope that if I concentrate on one thing the rest will fall into place eventually. Fingers crossed.

Goals:
To get to target by Christmas (or as close to).
To get into my size 14 jeans by May
To get a job

I think that's enough for now!


I've probably bored you rigged so I'm going to stop here. I will post tomorrow as its weigh in day and I know you are all keen to find out!

See you tomorrow!